Idiots in Love
by Lizzy-Margaret
Summary: Merlin and Arthur have been married for years, but over time, grow distant from one another. Is their marriage too far gone to fix, or will they get over themselves and just have an honest conversation?
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin :(**

**Enjoy**

* * *

**Chapter One**

Like any other typical morning for Merlin, he awoke to the sounds of guards shouting and metal clashing from right outside his window. Light poured into the room through the uncovered windows and if Merlin focused his hardest, he could faintly hear the sound of birds chirping that reminded him of his mother, Hunith and his home village, Ealdor.

With the thought of his mother, Merlin closed his eyes once again as the weight started sinking into his chest. It's been months since Merlin had made time to venture to Ealdor to see his mother and childhood friends. Months! He made a mental note that he should plan a trip before the week is out.

Just as Merlin sat up in his bed, a knock was heard at the door. The bed was very large but also...empty. Merlin often used his infinite pillow supply to try and compensate for the lack of warmth within the bed, but it failed more often than not.

"My lord," Merlin glanced up in time to see Gwaine standing in the doorway, all dressed in his armor with a scroll in his hands. He walked in casually, as if he owned the place. Merlin was quick to get out of bed and put on a shirt.

"Gwaine, you've known me for years. Merlin is fine," Merlin tsked kindly as Gwaine walked in with a small scroll in his hands. Merlin watched his closest friend and knight smile and nod.

"What are you doing here so early?" Merlin asked. Gwaine reached his hand out to give Merlin the scroll as he smiled strangely at Merlin. The smile itself wasn't as joyous as normal, but almost pitiful and when Merlin opened the scroll, he found out why.

_Merlin,_

_I shall be on a hunting trip for a few nights. Please take care of any issues that arise. I have appointed Lancelot to take over my duties while I am gone._

_-A_

Merlin read the small scribble of a note three times over before looking back up at Gwaine who was avoiding eye contact. His finger's clenched the parchment and his chest ached in a painfully familiar thud.

"Lancelot is a good man, a great man, but what does he know of a king's duty?" Merlin asked, his voice somewhat raw. Gwaine took the scroll back carefully, mindful of watching Merlin's expression.

"Look, mate, I'll be the first to call out Arthur's logic with this, but think of the bright side...more time to go to the tavern? We can stick Arthur with the bill if you want?" Bless Gwaine for being a true friend to Merlin at this time, but his antics weren't working. Not today.

"Gwaine, Arthur has been king for a decade, and I've been one for only two years less than that. I know how to run Camelot more than anyone when Arthur is away. Why would he pointedly not ask for my help and then inform me of his wishes to not involve me?" Gwaine clasped his hand onto Merlin's scrawny shoulder.

"How about I get Thomas to start you a bath? A good soak will do you wonders," Merlin sighed and shook his head.

"I'll run my own bath. The last thing I want is to become accustomed to relying on the servants. being one for years I know how hard it could be, especially under Arthur. Tell Thomas that with Arthur away, his services won't be needed and he may spend the next three days as he wishes. I understand he has a firstborn on the way?" Gwaine smiled and nodded. He'd never met a noble with so much care and kindness as Merlin.

"Merlin, you are the first royal that I've encountered who actually gives a damn about anyone other than themselves. I shall send word to Thomas at once. When you are done with your bath, meet me on the training field. Maybe if you got the chance to stab something, you'll feel better," Merlin nodded as Gwaine excused himself. With a sigh, Merlin made his way over to the bathing portion of his room. He filled the large basin with water and heated it with his magic before stepping in, enjoying the slight burn of the heated water.

A few weeks before Arthur had proposed to Merlin, he had come forward with his magic. With it being allowed in Camelot, he didn't see the harm in hiding it; especially if Arthur found out on his own without Merlin being the one to tell him. Their fight lasted a whole two weeks. Nasty things were shouted and old wounds were reopened and rubbed deeply with salt, but by the end of the tiresome argument about trust, dependability, and loyalty, Merlin found Arthur in his chamber on one knee with the most gorgeous ring he'd ever seen. The next five years were spent in lustful bliss.

Merlin sank deeper into the scalding tub, recalling the happy days he'd spent with his husband and the oftentimes he threw duties to the wind and escaped from Camelot with Merlin to enjoy a day in the meadows, and while Merlin doesn't condone throwing his duties away, he enjoyed the utter devotion Arthur had to him back then. Now, he'd be lucky to even get a peck on the cheek from the man. It was pathetic.

Merlin stayed in his heated bath for as long as his body would permit. When his fingertips started to shrivel, he got up and reached for a towel, drying himself off and changing into suitable clothes to train with Gwaine in. Gwaine was an amazing friend and the most loyalist knights he knows, but he is also one of the toughest fighters and trainers he knows and whenever Merlin agreed to train with the man, he was promised achy muscles and multiple purple bruises that lasted days.

Merlin found Gwaine training with a stuffed wooden dummy that has a big red X across his chest. Upon seeing Merlin, Gwaine stopped fighting and took off his helmet.

"Merlin, wonderful of you to join," he said, tossing a helmet Merlin's way who almost missed catching it. If there was one thing Merlin couldn't shake from his years of a servant, it was his clumsiness.

"Grab a sword and some armor. Only for the chest and arms, though. I want you to work on upper body attacks." Merlin nodded and reached for a chest piece as well as a blunted sword that was kept off to the side of the training field. For a few months now, Merlin had taken it upon himself to start training on defending himself. Of course, his magic would protect him 99% of the time, but if he ever lost his magic or something happened to it, he didn't want to be left defenseless.

"And Merlin?" Merlin snapped his head towards Gwaine. "No magic!" He said with a smirk, remembering when the first time they sparred, Merlin had accidentally used his mental magic to knock Gwaine over when he started getting too aggressive for his first training session. Merlin smirked. He hadn't used magic on Gwaine since his first session four months ago and he wasn't planning on using it again. He nodded in Gwaine's direction.

Quickly, they started training. Gwaine would start by sending innocent and easy throws towards Merlin's shoulder which he would promptly block with his own sword. Merlin knew to stay on his toes, though, because no matter how easy he thought Gwaine was making it, whenever he saw Merlin slacking, he'd change it up and throw in some harder moves. After a few minutes of easy blocking, Gwaine did a spin and make a motion to jab Merlin in the chest, but as he was spinning, Merlin got prepared to knock his sword off course, easily blocking it.

"Good," Gwaine said, panting slightly. "Now you work on offensive skills." He said, falling back into a defensive stance. Merlin nodded, swinging his sword around in a swift figure-eight motion as he advanced toward Gwaine. Gwaine had promptly blocked all of Merlin's attacks and continued to block them until they switched back for Merlin to defend once again.

That pattern continued for a few hours until both men were sweating and panting. A full sparring match broke out toward the end which had Merlin on the ground with Gwaine standing over him with a sword to his throat. Both were out of breath but smiling. Gwaine offered Merlin a hand who gingerly took it and pulled himself up.

"Come, I'm in dire need of water and a snack. I believe Morgana will be happy to join us." Merlin said. Gwaine nodded and followed the nobleman into the castle.

* * *

As suspected, Morgana was in the kitchens looking for a small snack to eat. Her enlarged stomach was keeping her from reaching the sweet pastries she wanted, though, and she let out a rather unladylike growl.

"Morgana, need a hand?" Gwaine offered, stepping around the pregnant woman and grabbing a platter covered with jam filled pastries. Morgana smiled at Gwaine in thanks and waved at Merlin who came over to steal one as well.

"Hello boys," she said, easily stuffing an entire pastry into her mouth. Merlin laughed at her satisfied expression as she grabbed the entire platter and brought it into the dining space they used to eat meals.

"How's Leon?" Gwaine asked. Leon was Morgana's fiancé who had taken leave from being a knight to prepare for their child who was due any day.

"In dire need of a drink, honestly." Morgana smiled. "He's more stressed about this child than I am and I'm the one who's been carrying it for nine months." She said. Merlin and Gwaine smiled in fondness. It was sweet to see the usually so tough and guarded Leon be so flustered over making his family perfect.

"But he's amazing, really," Morgana said finally. "He is so concerned for my well-being that I am surprised he let me wander to get food without him chaperoning." She said. Merlin and Gwaine nodded along, pleased to see Morgana so happy.

"So, where is Arthur? I haven't seen him in ages," she asked. Merlin went silent and his smiled quickly dropped as Gwaine scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"He went hunting for a few days," Gwaine finally said. "Lancelot is taking over for him until he returns." He said in a specific tone that told Morgana all she needed to know for her lips to thin and her eyes to harden.

"That bastard!" She snapped, her good mood suddenly gone.

"Morgana-" Merlin tried.

"No, Merlin. You're his husband, he doesn't get to treat you like this. What the hell was he thinking?" She asked rhetorically. She let out an irritated sigh before her eyes softly fell to Merlin.

"I'm so sorry Merlin. You probably know better than anyone that he could be an idiot most of the time." Morgana said, going to give Merlin a hug. Merlin nodded and returned the hug slightly.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I just wish he'd go back to being _my_ idiot."

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**Reviews are welcome!**

**XO**


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

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**Chapter Two**

The next few days, leading up to Arthur's return went down in a similar fashion. Merlin and Gwaine would spar in the mornings and in the afternoons, Merlin would either spend time with Morgana and Guis, or he'd help Lancelot with the duties of ruling a kingdom. Lancelot was more than willing to let Merlin take the reigns when it came to taking over Arthur's duties mostly because Merlin had the most experience with what to do. He also felt bad for the lad getting abandoned by Arthur.

Merlin actually enjoyed all the time he was spending with his friends. He had a time set for returning home to Ealdor for a week and he was looking forward to seeing his mother again. The last time he'd visited her, she wasn't doing so well and although he received a letter saying she was better, he still wanted to bring back some medicine and herbs for her just in case she was still recovering.

"Merlin?" A soft knock was heard at the door and was opened slowly to reveal Gwen. She walked over to him and smiled softly. "They've returned." She said. Merlin took a breath and nodded. His husband and hunting group had returned and Merlin was still upset with his ways of leaving. He had a lot to say to the king of Camelot, but he didn't even know where to start. Or if he'd even be heard.

Slowly, Merlin got out of the chair he was sitting in and followed Gwen to the courtyard where they waited for the horses they saw in the distance to stop in front of them. It irked Merlin how high and mighty Arthur looked. He was leading the group of hunters with his head held high and his chest puffed out as if nothing could touch him. It felt like hours until the group had stopped riding only feet in front of where he, Gwen, Morgana, and Gwaine stood. When he stopped riding, servants were quick to help him off and take the horses back to the stables where Merlin was certain they had to muck out. He had done it for years.

When Arthur dismounted his horse and stood in front of his small welcome back group, he was silent. Merlin was staring at him intently, waiting for him to say something. Anything. But it was silent.

"I hope everything went well while I was away?" He asked finally. Merlin could have sworn if looks could kill, Morgana would have had Arthur twenty feet under by now. Sometimes, Merlin loved the exaggerated emotions Morgana constantly had due to her pregnancy. Her exaggerated anger directed at Arthur made Merlin hide a smile.

"Yes, actually," Morgana said in a snide tone. "Everything went perfectly. All thanks to _Merlin_." She snapped. Arthur glanced at Merlin and leaned over, giving him the smallest of pecks on the cheek before pulling away.

"Thanks, love." He said and without another word, wandered into the castle. Merlin sighed. That was it? He hadn't seen his husband in four days and all he got was a 'thanks, love'? How about an 'I missed you' or even a freaking 'hello'?

Morgana looked ready to call out to Arthur, but Merlin patted her on the shoulder.

"It's okay," he muttered, holding her slightly back. Morgana sighed and turned to him; a pitiful look on her face.

"Merlin, it isn't alright." She said defiantly. "I've sat by and watched Arthur treat his servants better than you. You are his _husband_. It's not in the least bit okay." Merlin smiled at the emotion playing on Morgana's face. Her pregnancy made her so much more of an open book than she most probably preferred.

"He's been acting like this for so long," Merlin said and for a moment, he didn't know if he was speaking to Morgana or himself. "I'm going to go into the woods for the rest of the day. I just want some time to myself, if that's okay." Morgana nodded and gave him a tight hug.

"Do you want me to tell Arthur?" She asked. Merlin nodded.

"Thank you, Morgana," Merlin said. Morgana smiled and hugged him again, mindful of her stomach, and retreated back into the castle as Merlin made his way over to the horse stables.

"Sire," a servant said who was mucking out the stables. Merlin clearly remembered doing that specific job for hours on end and hating it. He smiled brightly at the young boy

"Please, call me Merlin. What's your name?" Merlin asked as he started preparing his horse. Normally, it'd be the servants' job to do that, but Merlin hated letting anyone besides himself do things that he was perfectly capable of doing.

"Michael, Sir-Merlin." The boy answered.

"What has got you mucking out the stables, then?" Merlin asked. The boy reminded Merlin much of himself when he was a manservant for his current husband.

"One of the knights, Gwaine I think, bet me I couldn't take an apple for the kitchens without being caught. I accidentally took it off of the king's bowl and was sent to muck out the stables for a fortnight. Knight Gwaine probably planned it too, the bastard." The boy's eyes widened. "I mean-umm," he glanced sheepishly to the ground. Merlin laughed.

"Michael, please, if anyone considers Gwaine a bastard, it's me. He's a drunk too. Now get out of the stables. It's a fine day and you have no need for wasting it in here." Michael made a move toward the door but stopped for a moment.

"Are you serious? What if the King finds out?" Merlin laughed.

"Then he will answer to me; his husband. Now go!" Merlin smiled as the young boy ran off, throwing thank yous as he went. Merlin continued grinning until he sat on his horse and was riding off into the woods that surround Camelot.

* * *

Arthur sat in his chair at the table of his workspace. It was where Uther addressed meetings, held appointments, and signed treaties that shaped Camelot into what it was and that was where Arthur continued the tradition. He said with a pile of scrolls stacked high. Everything that has been done while he was away stood in front of him. It wasn't that he didn't trust Lancelot or Merlin, but he wanted to make sure nothing impending occurred while he was gone.

Arthur looked through each scroll, finding its importance and looking at what Lancelot had done to keep the other party contempt or cause no destruction. He was a third of the way through and so far, it all looked rather good. Most of the scrolls were of minor requests of trading farming goods or land in return for gold or other baked goods. Nothing was too important or demanding until he reached a specific scroll from the kingdom of Edmund. It was an achingly familiar scroll wrapping. One that Arthur had seen too much of before his marriage. With the blue spirals on the front and the handcrafted letters, it was clear to Arthur what this was. A marriage proposal.

He opened the lace seals as well as the encompassed scroll that held all of the information of the princess the king wanted to marry off. Her name was Emilia and she was beyond beautiful. Her long blond hair and glassy blue eyes were mesmerizing. Her skin was sunkissed with freckles lingering on her angled cheekbones. She was young and fine and the King included a heavy additional gift of coins if Arthur accepted.

Unlike the other scrolls, this one wasn't covered in red ink. There were no thoughts written on the side of the page for Arthur to follow along. There was no black written signature that sealed the agreement before Arthur could read it, and there more certainly wasn't any indication it was read at all.

"Thomas!" Arthur shouted loudly to the empty room. Within seconds, a short man awkwardly came in.

"Yes, Sire?" He asked, bowing somewhat.

"Fetch me Lancelot." Thomas nodded and left the room. Arthur glanced back at the scroll before he heard the doors open again.

"Arthur? What is it?" Lancelot asked, walking into the room and standing on the opposite side of the table. Arthur picked up the blue scroll.

"What is this?" He asked. Lancelot shrugged and looked around the room uncomfortably.

"It appears to be a marriage proposal, Arthur." He said. "Is it?" Arthur looked at him.

"I should bloody well hope you'd know. You've been marking up my scrolls left and right but conveniently leave this one blank?" Arthur asked. Lancelot looked at him as if he were hatching a dragon's egg.

"Arthur, I never read through any scrolls. Merlin informed me only an hour after your departure that he would be taking care of all of the duties you left to me. He was the one to go through the scrolls." Lancelot said. Arthur kept his eyes trained on Lancelot before taking a deep breath and falling back in his chair with the outtake of his sigh.

"Arthur, sorry if I go too far in saying this, but maybe the reason Merlin hasn't touched the scroll was that he recognized it for what it was?" Lancelot asked. "And if I were him, I'd want no part in touching my husband's marriage proposals either. Especially if we've been married as long as you two have and even more especially if we were going through a rough patch like the two of you." Lancelot stopped talking and watched as Arthur took another deep breath.

"You may go now, Lancelot," Arthur said. Lancelot looked like he had more to say but chose against it and silently walked out of the room. Arthur stayed seated in his place for a few minutes before grabbing a blank scroll and writing back to the King of Edmund. The offer was kind but inappropriate as he has been married for seven years now.

As Arthur continued his work in assessing the scrolls, now knowing it was Merlin's work and not Lancelot's, he encountered the last scroll that held more importance than any others.

It was a worn piece of parchment with ripped edges and stains.

_Arthur,_

_I hope you are doing well as King of Camelot. I am in the area and decided to stop by and see how well you are handling your Kingly duties. I should be there by the end of the week. I also hear that you have yourself a husband. I'm looking forward to meeting the bugger._

_See you in a few days,_

_Adam_

There was one small question mark in the familiar red ink at the bottom of the page next to Adam's name and Arthur grinned slightly. Adam had been Arthur's best friend since childhood and was even Arthur's first when it came to anything sexual. Kisses, blowjobs, sex, the two teenage boys discovered it together. Arthur even firmly believed for quite a few years following Adam's departure that they would have ended up dating or more. But when both boys turned 18, Arthur has whisked away into knights training and royal duties while Adam's family left Camelot as crops started dying and Uther's rule became more firm.

Only after reminiscing about old memories did Arthur realize that today was the end of the week and Adam should be arriving at the castle later that day.

* * *

Merlin sat on a large boulder next to a river with a waterfall. The air was warm and the sky was bright. Tree branches shaded him as Merlin sat with his eyes closed. His breathing was even and he was deep in thought. Golden sparkles of dust floated around him as the serene atmosphere seemed to glow. It was calming and peaceful and the most breathtaking scenery. Merlin took one final deep breath before opening his eyes and watching as the glowing sparkles of dust faded back into the air.

A helpful outlet Merlin had discovered for his magic when his emotions were running high was to push it into the air around him. At first, it was a difficult skill to master as it required him to pinpoint the tiniest molecules in the air and infuse them with magic, but as he practiced and mastered the skill, it was a calming activity that gave him something to focus on. When done right, the air would become electrifying and anyone around him would feel the rush of magic instantaneously. When Merlin finished his calming breaths and pushing his magic into the air, the golden dust tingled his skin before fading.

Merlin had so much on his mind as he laid on the rock. He missed his husband so much. It wasn't a secret to anyone that they have been going through a rough patch and for a neighboring kingdom to see that and take such advantage of it as to send a marriage proposal sent his blood boiling.

Arthur was his and while Merlin didn't often show his possessive side, he'd be damned if anyone was going to take his husband from him.

Merling didn't even want to think about that letter he found amongst the official scrolls. A piece of parchment that had such a casual message to Arthur from someone Merlin has never heard of, mentioning a visit that would probably take place when he returned to the castle later that day. Merlin's mind could go off in a million directions on how to take the relationship of Arthur and the mystery man, but even humoring the thought made his stomach clench sickly so he opted for not acknowledging it until he was physically faced with the man.

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	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

**Enjoy~**

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_**Chapter Three-**_

When Merlin finally calmed his emotions and settled his thoughts enough to return to the castle, it was well past sunset. Normally, Merlin would have worried over the idea of staying gone so long when so little people knew where he really was, but after the past few days, Merlin thought he deserved some time to himself to sort out his thoughts and feelings.

The idea of being without Arthur by his side physically hurt Merling to even think about, but with the way Arthur was acting, he wouldn't be surprised if divorce was where they were headed; leaving Arthur with the option of taking on the marriage proposal or even being with _Adam_, who Merlin hasn't even met yet but, already decided, he _seriously_ doesn't like.

Merlin took his time walking slowly down the path in the woods back to the castle, guiding his horse behind him. Most people would scurry through the pines at night in fear of robbers, but Merlin had magic. He's probably the most equipt to protect himself in all of Camelot. When he got to the gates that marked the edge of the kingdom and led right into the bustling town, Merlin waved at the head guard who stood post as he opened the door without any questions. Even for the lateness, the streets of Camelot where still semi-full of people who were getting home after a long day or making their way to the taverns for some late-night drinks. That was something Merlin loved about Camelot; it always held life, even in the dead of night.

By the time the castle came into view, Merlin took a deep breath. He knew Arthur's friend would be inside and it probably wasn't the most responsible thing for Merlin to hide away for the afternoon of his arrival, but Merlin couldn't help himself or his raging thoughts and feelings. Besides, he had confidence that Morgana and Gwaine would have a handle on Arthur and his guest in Merlin's absence.

When he made it to one of the more subtle entrances of the castle, Merlin made his way through the all of the common places where he might find someone and alert them of his return back home. Luckily, he was quick to find Morgana in her chambers when he knocked.

"You're back," she said, smiling. Merlin nodded.

"I had to clear my head for a bit. A lot happened when Arthur was gone and his indifferent arrival didn't help." He said. "Has his guest arrived?" Morgana sent him a pitying look and nodded.

"He arrived a few hours ago. Arthur and he have been locked in the throne room ever since." She said. Merlin nodded. He didn't want to go there and meet an old friend of Arthur's, especially if he acted anything as Merlin thought.

"Is he as bad as my 'paranoid husband' mind is making him out to be?" Merlin asked with a desperate chuckle. Morgana gave him another look and hugged him.

"I really wish you and Arthur will get over this mess before my baby comes. They need their uncles to spoil them, not confuse and scar them at the fresh age of zero," Morgana mumbled, her pity gone and replaced with bittersweet sarcasm. Merlin wanted to laugh at her mood swings if it wasn't for the situation he was in.

"You and me both, 'Gana." He said.

* * *

Merlin bid Morgana good night when Leon came around the corner of the doorway, wondering who she could be talking to at this hour before smiling and greeting Merlin properly. Merlin politely returned the greeting and ventured off to find Arthur and properly introduce himself to his guest before retiring to his chambers for the night.

It didn't take him long to make his way to the throne room where the doors were closed and laughing could be heard through the crack. Merling jiggled the doorknob and sure enough, they were locked tight from the inside.

"Really, you clot-pole?" Merlin mumbled. He'd have to knock and wait to be let in and something about doing that to his own throne room was degrading and made his skin burn. He knocked nonetheless.

The laughter ceased almost immediately before footsteps were heard. The door opened with a heavy creek and Arthur's head popped out with barely contained giggles. Merlin felt like such an oddball out, like he didn't belong in his own fucking home. When Arthur recognized who awaited him, his smiles dropped and he narrowed his eyes at Merlin in a way that left Merlin ready to hit something.

"Who's at the door, Arty?" A man came traipsing behind Arthur's figure to where he and Merlin stood. He was tall, well-built, and_ handsome_, and that made Merlin want to punch Arthur more. He could feel his magic crackling beneath his skin.

_'Arty?'_

"Adam, this is-"

"Merlin; his _husband_," Merlin spoke over Arthur (which he never did) and it only spiked his anger more when Adam smiled and extended a hand to shake.

"Well, how are you doing, mate?" He shook Merlin's hand firmly and Merlin could barely hear it with how loud his heart was beating.

"I'm just fantastic," Merling tried not to spit the words, he really did. "And you are?" Arthur glared at Merlin, clearly picking up on the sarcastically sweet tones and dared him to say something out of line.

"Adam Rutter, Sire." He bowed slightly and it ticked Merlin off that he was actually showing manners. _'Why can't you just be an arsehole so I can hate you properly?' _

"Adam and I have been mates since we were children. We went our separate ways when I started training for the throne." Arthur pipped in. Merlin smiled again and it just barely contained his sneer.

"Oh god, do you remember when we were kids and we snuck out of Camelot for an entire day and didn't tell a soul?" Adam asked suddenly, ignoring Merlin's presence altogether and looking at Arthur as his eyes lit up. _'We used to do that all the time,'_ Merlin thought.

"Don't remind me of that, I got a flogging that lasted me a life that night. I probably still have a bruise," Arthur smiled. Adam laughed.

"Definitely worth it, though," Arthur muttered and Merlin just about lost it. The way Arthur and Adam looked at each other reminded Merlin too much of how he and Arthur looked at each other when they first got married.

"Arthur, can I talk to you?" Merlin asked and glared at Adam, "_alone_." Adam nodded, his smile never dropped and Merlin could have sworn Adam _winked_ on his way out.

"I'll be in my room, then. See you at breakfast tomorrow morning?" He asked, already walking away. Neither man responded. Merlin pushed his way into the throne room and slammed the doors shut.

"Merlin," Arthur started slowly, "do you want to tell me what the _bloody hell_ that was?" He asked. Merlin rolled his eyes at the livid tone of his lover; he didn't have a right.

"Which part?" Merlin asked, feigning innocence. "The part where you leave for three days without telling me and appoint Lancelot to take over, or the part where I find my husband locked in the throne room with another man?" _'How could you do this to me after everything we've been through?'_ His innocence was replaced with anger as his magic made his eyes glow. Arthur held Merlin's glare.

"I asked Lancelot to take over my duties since he could _handle_ them. Adam's visit was just as surprising to me as it was to you." He said as if that explained everything.

"Arthur, you've been gone for three days and when you returned, you barely said hello, and the next time I fully saw you was when you are alone, in a locked room, laughing with someone who isn't your husband," Merlin stated. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"So I cannot converse with people of the same gender without your permission?" Arthur scoffed. Merlin glared.

"Not when they call you things like 'Arty' and look at you like your the sun," Merlin said. _'That's my job,_' he thought. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"You're being paranoid," Arthur stated. Merlin shook his head.

"Am I, though? Word got out that you and I aren't doing too great and you think it is just a coincidence after all this time apart, Adam shows up at the same time you're starting to get marriage proposals when you're _still married_?" _'Please don't choose them.'_

"Go to bed, Merlin," Arthur said after a second of analyzing Merlin's angered face. "You need to sleep off whatever you've been drinking at the tavern with Gwaine." Merlin scoffed in disbelief and walked up into Arthur's space.

"If you don't want to see it, fine, but don't keep stringing me along and writing me off when it's convenient. We've been together too long for you to do that now." Merlin said.

"What do you mean by that?" Arthur asked.

"I mean," Merlin took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His throat was closing up and the words tasted foul on his tongue, "I mean, if you really want to consider the proposals and humor the clear attraction between you and Adam, at least have the decency to cut ties with me first." _'No! Don't, please.'_ Merlin stepped back and waiting for Arthur to respond, but when he didn't, Merlin let out a shuttering breath and walked out of the room, not looking back and letting the doors slam on the way out.

* * *

Merlin woke with a headache and puffy eyes that begged to be shut again. It was bright outside which meant Merlin had slept in, but when memories of the night before resurfaced, he no longer cared. Merlin and Arthur have been playing ball with each other for years when it came to their relationship and feelings and Merlin had tossed it to Arthur's side of the court and it was out of his hands.

Merlin knew he was overreacting to Adam being in the castle. He knew Arthur had every right to act confused and annoyed with Merlin's behavior the night before, but Arthur just didn't _understand_ that Merlin wasn't reacting just from Adam's arrival or the scrolled marriage proposal. He was acting out from the years of ignorance and the millions of times Arthur chose duties over love. Hell, they don't even share the same bed anymore. They haven't even really kissed in months.

Merlin tossed onto his back and stared at the ceiling as his thoughts washed over him. He didn't want to suggest divorce and it hurt when Arthur didn't argue the idea. Had the past decade really mean so little to Arthur that he'd throw it away so easily. Without Arthur, Merlin would have to leave Camelot and the family he's made for himself. He'd also have to move home with his Mother who, while he missed her, meant that he'd spend the rest of his days in Ealdor where the population was less than the 100.

Merlin sat up. Thinking about the future wasn't something he wanted to do. He knew it was almost inevitable at this point to win Arthur back, but he couldn't dwell on what losing him would bring. That'd just force him into a hole he doesn't think he could climb out of; magic or not.

When Merlin came into the kitchens for some food (he preferred getting his own instead of having servants bring it to his bed), he found Gwaine chewing on an apple and reading a book.

"Morning, Gwaine," Merlin greeted. Gwaine swallowed his apple and smiled Merlin's way.

"Morning, Merlin. How are you doing?" Merlin subconsciously cringed at the question of how he was doing. _'Or handling the fact that divorce and loneliness await him,_' his mind supplied.

"Arthur and I had a fight last night," Merlin said, almost guilty. Gwaine placed his book down.

"What about?"

"I didn't mention it before, but when I was doing his duties and reviewing scrolls, there was a marriage proposal from a neighboring kingdom." He mumbled. Gwaine's eyes widened.

"But you guys have been together for so long! All the kingdoms in the area know this, they came to your wedding!" Gwaine tried to counter the fact as if that would make it any less true. All it did has become a painful reminder of how many things were against Merlin's happiness.

"It's no secret we are in some tough times and the scroll mentioned all the positives that would come with divorcing me and signing a treaty with a kingdom North of us," Merlin said. Gwaine shook his head and offered Merlin a sympathetic smile.

"So your fight was about the marriage proposal?" Gwaine asked.

"Along with other things. Arthur's guest, Adam?" Gwaine nodded in recognition, "they were locked in the throne room acting very close and Adam was all over Arthur and vice versa. They were acting like the two of us acted when we first got together." Merlin admitted. Gwaine placed a hand on his shoulder.

"That's tough, Mate. What did Arthur say when you talked?"

"He basically turned the whole thing around and blamed me for being paranoid," Merlin said. He opened his mouth as if to say more but puffed out a breath instead.

"Merlin," Gwaine mumbled. He felt bad for Merlin; someone who has been by his side since the beginning. It hurt Gwaine to see both Merlin and Arthur at odds with each other since the three of them have been so close for so long.

"I-" Merlin looked lost for a moment before focusing his sights on Gwaine. "I gave him an ultimatum last night. Stay devoted to me or divorce me so I don't have to watch him accept the marriage proposal."

Gwaine looked shocked for a moment. He knew they were doing badly, but not bad enough to even warrant a divorce. It was a rare occurrence between common folk, even more so between nobles and whether Merlin wanted to admit it or not, he was now a noble.

"I'll be back," Gwaine said roughly, throwing his half-eaten apple in the garbage and storming off, forgetting about both his book and Merlin. He looked ready to kill.

* * *

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	4. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

**Enjoy...**

* * *

_**Chapter Four-**_

Gwaine found Arthur outside eating some bread and cheese with Adam. Some servants lingered in the corner of the scene while chefs stood with the trays of food. They were out on a balcony, over watching Camelot's busy morning rush.

"...And then we ran away as our lives depended on it..."

"...Right into the dairy man's cart!" Both men laughed, neither noticed Gwaine yet.

"I had yolks in my hair for days," Arthur mumbled.

"And my mom never yelled at me so loudly," Adam added. Gwaine hated to admit how little exaggerating Merlin did when he said they were in their own bubble. This was a bit ridiculous.

"Your Highness," Gwaine said, both loudly and aggressively. Arthur looked at Gwaine with an all too nonchalant look.

"What is it, Gwaine?" He asked.

"May I speak with you alone, Sire?" He asked. Adam tsk' ed.

"So many people want you alone, Arty. It's as if they are talking to you about _me_," the tone made it clear Adam knew what Gwaine wanted to talk about but his smirk stayed firm and present as if he still didn't care.

"As king of Camelot, Arthur has much to attend to beyond gossip about his new guest, now if you'd excuse us," Gwaine forcefully grabbed Arthur's arm and lifted him out of the chair, ignoring his call of protest. Three guards lingered by the servants but none grabbed their sword; nobody dared draw a sword on the head guard himself.

"Gwaine!" Arthur shouted as he was dragged back inside the castle and into a deserted corridor.

"What is the meaning of this?" He demanded. Gwaine rolled his eyes. He needed to punch something. Preferably _Arthur_ shaped.

"Merlin is a damn good man, Arthur, so he doesn't see the merit in beating sanity into you," Gwaine said, getting into Arthur's space and grabbing him by the collar. "I, however, am not a good man and after all, you two have been through, I see no problem with punching out those pearly whites." Arthur struggled to get out of Gwaine's grasp and only broke free when Gwaine loosened his grip.

"What on earth are you going on about now?" Arthur asked.

"I'm talking about the way you are casting Merlin aside, more so than usual," Gwaine said.

"When you guys first got together, you were inseparable and sweet to the point of rotting teeth. Camelot blossomed and so many treaties were made, we became the most successful this kingdom's ever been but I guess a while back, you two lost your spark and now you're no more than strangers. Merlin told me he gave you an ultimatum for a divorce and that you didn't fight back." Gwaine said. Arthur, for once, didn't jump onto the defense and accuse Gwaine or Merlin of anything. He just thought about what Gwaine had just said.

"That's not true," Arthur mumbled. Gwaine looked ready to jump down his throat but Arthur continued. "I didn't agree to divorce last night. I was appalled Merlin even suggested such a thing, to be honest, and I was too shocked to answer right away. When he left, I threw a vase to pieces and didn't sleep a wink." Arthur said.

"I know Merlin and I haven't been close lately, and I'm sure I am mostly to blame for it, but it is not because I don't love him anymore," Arthur said. Gwaine glared at him.

"Then why are you pushing him away? Why are you inviting all of these problems into your life, like Adam and the marriage proposals?"

"Because Merlin is a sorcerer!" Arthur shouted suddenly. Gwaine took a visible flinch back and once the shock wore off, his glare hardened ten-fold.

"Don't you dare say that, Arthur!" Gwaine said. "Merlin has saved us all more times than we can count. You abolished the laws against magic years ago, and he's mastered all he could in training with the druids. Merlin is Emrys and all he's done is help people. Don't you_ dare_ retract your vows to him just because he is who he is!" Gwaine shouted.

"When your Father found out you liked men exclusively, he beat you silly. Tell me how you rejecting Merlin for his magic is any different from your Father rejecting you for your sexual preferences?! Neither of you can control either of them, so don't you _dare_ turn your back on Merlin because of something neither of you can control." Arthur looked down. He clearly had something to say, but before he could speak, Gwaine punched him square across the jaw and stormed off.

Arthur held his reddened cheek as his eyes glassed for a moment. This was all getting out of hand.

* * *

The rest of the day went by silently. Arthur had retired to his chambers, telling Adam to take the day to explore Camelot and the castle and that they'd meet for dinner. Gwaine was so angry at his confrontation with Arthur that he'd stormed out of the castle without a word and took a horse out of Camelot and headed for the woods. Merlin spent most of the day with Morgana as her swollen stomach was giving her pains and her nearly born child kept kicking her stomach. The rest of the time he spent with Guis in his home, talking and helping the old man with potions as he tried to forget his own troubles.

"You may be the most powerful warlock of this time, my boy, but you are not good at lying," Guis said as he stirred a potion for a woman who lives a few doors down. Merlin sighed and closed the ingredient book.

"Arthur and I are no longer together." He said quietly. Guis stopped stirring for a moment before gradually beginning again.

"I have not heard a word of divorce scrolls making their way through the castle."

Merlin traced the letters on the book, not meeting Guis' gaze.

"It isn't official, but when I confronted him yesterday, he didn't fight the idea."

"Maybe he was just shocked?" Guis asked. "It's not often one has their significant other spring such a topic onto them." Bless Guis for being such a neutral, level-headed voice of reason.

"But it wasn't just 'sprung' on. It's been months since we've slept in the same bed, even longer since we kissed. We don't know each other anymore and how could anyone from a dedicated marriage say such a thing?"

"My boy, you aren't the first to witness marriage struggles. Arthur is a king; you are Emrys. That's a lot of responsibility between two men to uphold."

"So you're saying this is all in my head?" Merlin asked in disbelief. "That when we no longer share a bed or eat a meal together, it is because he is trying to do his duty as a king?"

"I'm saying," Guis smiled and patted Merlin's back, "that not everything is as bad as it seems and _talking_ with Arthur with complete honesty, is the best solution." Guis said Merlin looked like he was ready to interrupt but Guis put his hand up.

"Honesty is the best policy, Merlin. And if you still agree to go your separate ways, I'm here for you. Always." Merlin shook his head.

"I've tried talking to him. He doesn't want to listen."

"Sit with him alone and make sure he knows you aren't accusing him of anything. You've been married to the man for years, Merlin. When have confrontational conversations ever worked with him?" Merlin nodded.

"Thank you, Guis," he said, hugging the man and getting up. He needed to talk to Arthur as soon as possible.

* * *

Merlin walked through the halls with haste. He needed to find Arthur so that he could talk to him. For the first time in months, Merlin had hope that their relationship and marriage could be saved and they could go back to sharing a bed and kissing one another good night. He rounded a corner and ran smack into Gwaine who looked disheveled and dirty.

"Gwaine, where have you been all day? You stormed off this morning pretty upset." Merlin said. Gwaine looked at Merlin for a moment and shook his head.

"I talked to Arthur. He," Gwaine paused, "you two need to talk. There's a lot of things that need to be said. Just," another pause and breath, "know that I got your back no matter what." He sounded so inferior and small. Merlin gave him a strange look.

"Gwaine, you're acting like Arthur has my bag by the door already. Did he say something to you?" Merlin asked. His hope and desire to talk to Arthur was quickly deflating into dread and worry.

"It's not my place to say, mate, but as a friend, it is my place to warn you. I don't want to see you hurt." Merlin continued to look at Gwaine strangely.

"Gwaine, I need to know," Merlin paused and took a breath, "if I go into Arthur's chambers to talk to him, will I see him with Adam?" It was clear what Merlin was implying and Gwaine was quick to shake his head.

"Hell no, Merlin. Arthur is a lot of things, but he isn't a cheat. I'm just warning you, what he might have to say might reopen some old wounds that Uther gave you and I don't want to see you hurt," Gwaine kept saying that, but Merlin was confused. What wounds did Uther give him that Arthur could possibly want to reopen?

"Gwaine, enough riddles. What did Arthur say?" Merlin held a steady glare with Gwaine and neither blinked.

"He said," Gwaine looked down, "he said he distanced himself from you because of your magic."

_"What?"_

"He said the reason he was flirting with Adam, was humoring the marriage proposals and stopped sharing a bed with you way back when was because you were a sorcerer," Gwaine said and it took a lot for him to say it. Merlin looked like he had just been slapped, kicked, and stabbed. His eyes grew wide before his chest fell to his feet and his neck dropped. Even his large ears were wilted slightly.

"Do you know where he is right now?" Merlin whispered. Gwaine shook his head.

"That's probably not a good idea," Gwaine said, grabbing Merlin's shoulders. "You're emotional and angry right now, mate, and going into _that kind_ of a conversation with Arthur right now isn't wise."

"I need to go, Gwaine. I need to hear it from him." Merlin said. He moved his hand in front of Gwiane's and his eyes glowed gold for a moment before Gwaine felt himself falling to the ground.

"Paralysis spell," Merlin muttered. "It will wear off in a few minutes." Gwaine tried to flip him off, but his hands didn't move.

"Fuck you, Merlin. I'm just trying to help you," Gwaine called out. Merlin nodded and waved in thanks. He was about to round the corner when he came face to face with Leon.

"Merlin, thank god!" He looked like a mess. "It's Morgana. Her water broke and you're the first person I've found."

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	5. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

**Another note- There is a scene of childbirth. It isn't really descriptive, but if y'all find that nasty, skip past it. I'll put a *.**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Merlin's head was spinning. He was angry. There was so much he needed to say, to do, to _process_...

Merlin chased after Leon as he weaved through the halls and up to Morgana's room. A female servant and Gwen were already there. Morgana was sweating and laying on the bed. Tears were in her eyes and she clutched her stomach with one hand and Gwen's hand with the other.

"About time," Morgana seethed at Merlin and Leon. "It's happening," she paused to gasp and her face twisted, "now!"

"Ok," Merlin nodded. He wasn't a midwife and he didn't have a lot of medical training, but Gwen knew the basics and Morgana thought his magic could help the process. "Morgana, I am going to cast a spell to lessen the pain. You are going to feel weird for a moment, ok?" Morgana nodded and squeezed Gwen's hand again.

"Leon, send word to Gius that we will need recovery potions soon and to get a bath ready for when the baby comes." Gwen wiggled her hand out of Morgana's grasp when Merlin's spell started taking effect. She rolled up her sleeves and wore a determined look on her face.

"Merlin, I am going to nee some kind of an adrenaline spell. Morgana is exhausted but she is going to need to push when I say." Merlin nodded dumbly and while there wasn't a specific spell that gave adrenaline boots, there was one to take away sleepiness and exhaustion. Gwen nodded in thanks and spread Morgana's legs open.

"Morgana, when I say, I am going to need you to push." Morgana looked at Gwen and nodded. About ten seconds went by and Gwen nodded and Merlin.

"Morgana, push now." No anti-pain spell in the world could be strong enough to dwindle the pain of childbirth. Morgana screamed as she pushed with all of her might. It hurt. It bloody hurt.

"Morgana, you are so close. Two more big pushes." Merlin had to hand it to Gwen. She was calm and collected and didn't seem frazzled at all. Morgana screamed louder as she pushed again. Merlin could see the head of the baby pop out. It was a revolting sight, but it was the creation of life and he still had to marvel at it.

"One more. You are doing great, Morgana!" Morgana's head was shaking and she sobbed loudly. Merlin tried to cast another anti-pain spell on her but she didn't seem to be getting any better.

"Gwen?" Merlin asked. Gwen turned to Merlin.

"Merlin, if she pushes once more, can your magic help pull the child out?" Merlin thought for a moment and nodded slowly. He supposed he could manipulate the magic to do that?

"Ok, Morgana, I need one more big push and then you will be done. Just one more huge push and you can hold your child for the first time." Morgana sobbed once more and squeezed her eyes and she pushed for one, final time. She yelled through the pain and Merlin was quick to push some magic toward the child and pull it slightly, just enough for Gwen to get her hands around the small head. When it was done, Gwen pulled until the child was fully out and Morgana collapsed in exhaustion. Merlin clipped the umbilical cord and Leon came bursting through the doors with two vials of potion and a servant behind him with a basin of water.

"Is that...?" He placed the vials of liquid down and seemed to be in a trance as he looked at the wailing child in Gwen's arms. She nodded happily.

"I am going to get this little guy cleaned up. Go give the potions to Morgana. And Leon?" She asked with a wide smile.

"You're having a son." Leon choked on a laugh and he watched Gwen bring the baby boy to the water and was off all of the blood and fluids on him. Merlin had to admit, the baby was a damn cute one, too.

It took nearly two hours after the birth for the child to get cleaned and properly ready to be handed back to Morgana and Leon. Morgana slept soundly as Leon sat next to her bed as she slept. Merlin helped with the aftercare of Morgana to make sure everything was alright and there were no complications. Overall, everything was running smoothly.

Gwen came back with the child and Morgana cried when he was placed in her arms. Leon started crying too and by the end of the ordeal, Merlin and Gwen and even the other servants had tears on their cheeks.

"What about Philip?" Leon asked as they tossed around names. Morgana smiled and looked down at the child.

"Well hello, Philip. Welcome to Camelot." Morgana whispered.

* * *

By the time Merlin and Gwen felt it was okay to leave the new family alone, it was past dark. Merlin was exhausted and hungry. The birth occupied his mind (rightfully so) for a few hours, but when it was done, his mind still fell back onto the conversation he had with Gwaine in the hallway. He was angry and hurt, but maybe Gwaine didn't deserve to be paralyzed. He decided after getting some food, he'd stop by Gwaine's room and apologize while delivering the good news for Morgana and Leon.

Round the corner into the Kitchen, Merlin found Arthur and Adam eating fruit together. He was honestly too tired to fight, so Merlin turned to walk back to his room and wait for breakfast, but Adam's words made him stop for a moment.

"Arthur, why don't you tell me the truth about Merlin?" Merlin stopped walking and stood on the other side of the wall, listening to their conversation. He knew it was wrong, but they were talking about _him,_ for goodness sake!

"What do you want to know?" Something about Arthur's tone seemed off.

"Well, rumor has it that you two are on the rocks..." Even from around the corner, Merlin could hear the bastard's smile.

"Adam," Arthur sounded worn out. Merlin wished he could get a view of the two of them without being seen, but all he had were the reflections of some pots and pans.

"I'm just saying, remember the fun we had when we were kids? There's a broom closet down the hall. We can fool around for old time's sake..." Adam was practically on top of Arthur and Merlin didn't need pot and pan reflections to see them kissing. Merlin decided enough was enough; this was getting out of hand.

"Ad-"

"Let go of my _fucking_ husband." Merlin's eyes were glowing gold; probably brighter than ever if his fury was any indication. With a silent whisper, Adam was thrown off of Arthur and pressed against the wall tightly.

"_Merlin?!_" Arthur's yell was faded out by the blood pumping in Merlin's ears. He stormed over to Adam and used his magic to force him into the wall again.

"We invite you to our home. We let you eat our food. We let you sleep in our beds and you decide that since my husband and I are going through a rough patch, you'd come along and _fuck_ him? Do you have any idea who I am?" Adam glared at Merlin and said nothing.

"I am King Merlin, also known as the Emrys. I am the Dragon Lord and leader of the druids. I've _let_ you done enough around here but because I am such a kind and forgiving person, I will_ let_ you leave Camelot for good without giving you further harm. If you decide to come back, however, this..." Merlin's eyes began glowing again as he chanted quietly. Adam let out a grunt of pain as a black crescent burned into the side of his neck, "will prevent you from even reaching the gates." Adam looked like he wanted to speak, but thought against it when Merlin's glare increased.

"If you are not outside of Camelot's borders within the hour, consider yourself a dead man. I know over a hundred spells used for hunting _scum_ and putting them down." Merlin didn't know what came over him. He's never been so rude and intense, but he's had enough and has reached a breaking point. His anger was bubbling within him and Adam certainly deserved it.

"Now, get out of my sight before I change my mind." Merlin would have laughed at the way Adam high-tailed himself out of the kitchen. Merlin would have followed him to make sure he was leaving, too, but he had more pressing things to attend to...

..Like his husband sitting behind him who looked like he was ready to commit murder.

"Merling, what the bloody hell did you just do?!" Merlin turned around, his eyes still glowing as he tried to calm down.

"We need to talk." The words were spat and Merlin didn't hide the smile when Arthur visibly gulped.

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	6. Chapter six

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

**Enjoy**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

Merlin sat as Arthur paced the kitchen floor. It was clear that there was so much both men wanted to say but neither of them knew where to even begin. Silence clung to the air thickly.

"I honestly cannot believe you just did that," Arthur said finally; exasperated.

"Me?!" Merlin nearly shouted, "what about what you did?"

"What did I do?"

"Where do you want me to start?" Merlin asked.

"If you are talking about the kiss that just happened, Adam took me completely by surprise-" Merlin slammed his hand onto the table and the kitchen utensils shook.

"I don't care about the bloody kiss, Arthur," Merlin _did_ care about the kiss, but it was at the bottom of a long list of things Merlin was mad at Arthur for.

"Then what?"

"Arthur, we've been married for nearly a decade. We should be settled without a care in the world, but for the past few years, I've never felt farther from you. And then I find a marriage proposal on your desk, Adam comes to pay us a visit, divorce gets brought up and you don't even fight it..." Merlin stopped there and let the words hang in the air. He felt suffocated even talking about it.

"Merlin, listen, I can explain-"

"Gwaine said it was because I had magic." Merlin hated how rushed and flustered he sounded, he was actually really angry and pissed. "Is that true?"

"Gwaine is a-"

"He's a bloody good friend for telling me. Nothing less. Now, Arthur, I need to know, before this gets any further, is all of this really because I am Emrys?"

"Merlin, it isn't like-"

"Because if it is, consider me gone. I can't control that just as much as you can't control your prat-ness-"

"Merlin!" It was Arthur's turn to shout, "stop interrupting me when I'm trying to explain things and clear the air." Merlin at least had the decency to look somewhat ashamed of not letting Arthur speak.

"Now," Arthur began, "I love you, Merlin. I have and always will. I don't care if a million Adams come knocking on the door trying to seduce me. I will only ever want you" Merlin looked like he wanted to interrupt, but Arthur held up his hand to silence him.

"One thing at a time, love. The marriage proposal is a stupid farce. You should know that. It was just an arrogant king from the North trying to overstep his bounds due to gossip. It was inappropriate and I've already alerted the proper people from that kingdom. As for the divorce you mentioned..." Arthur trailed off as if he didn't know what to say. Merlin looked like someone crushed his puppy.

"I don't want to get a divorce, Merlin!" Arthur nearly shouted. "I am bloody shocked you would even _suggest_ something so extream and crazy. As you said, we've been married for ten years. There is no way in hell I'd want to throw that away for some bloke up North or Adam." Merlin looked relieved but he still held a face of uncertainty.

"And my magic?" He asked after Arthur was silent for a moment.

"What about it?"

"Gwaine said you were distancing us because of my magic..."

"Look, Merlin," Arthur started, hesitancy laced his tone, "if we are putting all our cards on the table, I guess your magic is the reason we first started growing distance." Merlin's face was blank but inside, he was ready to cry. How was he supposed to fix that? He _couldn't_ fix that...

"Merlin, stop! It's not what you think." Merlin's face snapped to Arthur's.

"How could it be anything else then what I think? Do you feel threatened by my magic? Scared? Angry? What is it? I can't just snap my fingers and get rid of it." Arthur closed his eyes as if he was trying to fight off tears too. Merlin was near sobs at this point.

"How could you throw away everything we've gone through because of something that is a part of me? You can't still be upset I kept it from you when we first met..." He said it like it was impossible but when Arthur didn't argue, Merlin glared at him.

"Is that it? Are you upset I saved your life while hiding my magic under your Father's rule? Arthur, I would have been killed-"

"That's not it," Arthur seemed like he was lost in his thoughts. Merlin walked over into his face.

"Then what?"

"You chose magic." Merlin stared. _That_ didn't make any sense.

"What?"

"When we made magic legal in Camelot and you came out as Emrys, you spent months working on mastering the art form of magic. Countless nights in the library, countless days with Gaius..." Arthur trailed off. Merlin sighed.

"Arthur, what was I suppose to do? Sit back and let magic just _come to me_? Of course, I had to work hard and study spells and magic and all the works. I couldn't just abandon the druids."

"But what about me?!" Arthur's outburst caught Merlin off guard...again.

"Merlin, I may be a prat and arrogant at times, but while you were off learning about this whole new world, I stayed the same. I stayed in Camelot while you went up into the clouds, and to be quite honest, I don't think you've come down." Arthur sounded desperate. "You and Morgana and Gwaine all seem to blame me for our marriage turning to shit, but it wasn't me who started canceling dinners and rescheduling horse rides in the woods...I'm not blaming you for this. _At all_." Merlin had a sour face and looked like he wanted to speak but held his tongue as Arthur continued.

"But I really need to listen to me when I say I fucking missed you. You learned about magic and all you could focus on what a new spell, a new book, a new...something; while I sat with overburning candles, two place settings, and just me. And sure, maybe I took it out of hand when we started sleeping in separate beds, but Merlin, can you blame me? I missed you and you weren't there. You haven't been there. I think it got to the point where when you were done mastering magic, there wasn't anything to come home to and we just...faded." Arthur was crying. So was Merlin. He didn't mean to abandon Arthur. He didn't mean to do anything but love him unconditionally.

"At first I hated your magic and a year ago, I kind of did blame you and your magic, but I realized, I think, after talking to Leon about his marriage with Morgana and even talking to Gaius...I still love you and no matter how far apart we grew, I couldn't cut ties with you." Merling let out a silent sob as he got close and into Arthur space.

"I-I'm sorry, Arthur," he pulled the blonde into a tight hug. "If I had known...I'm just so sorry."

"I don't blame you anymore, Merlin. I'm angry we couldn't just talk about it. I'm angry at myself for falling for Adam's charm because he reminded me so much of _you_ and I just missed you and-"

Merlin shut Arthur up by crushing his lips against the blondes. He pushed Arthur against the kitchen table and wound his hands around the taller man's waist as Arthur's fingers tangled in Merlin's hair. Arthur let out a gasp as the intensity of the kiss grew and Merlin used that as an opportunity to push his tongue into his lover's mouth and start exploring. Soon enough, both men's lips grew swollen from the kissing and Merlin moved to Arthur's jaw. Merlin wasn't normally the dominating type with anything sexual or Arthur, but at this moment, all raw and honest, he didn't care about normalcy. He cared about Arthur and the months upon months of being deprived.

His lips sucked just below his ear and Merlin whispered semi-broken apologies as he left love bites all along the blonde's neck and collarbone. Arthur moaned slightly at the softness of Merlin's touches and even at his own. Both men thought both would break at any moment. If they weren't so desperate for one another, it'd be almost pathetic.

"If this keeps up," Arthur moaned out as Merlin's tongue went over a sensitive nerve as his fingers went for Arthur's clothes, "we should probably move to the bedroom before someone comes by." Both men knew nobody was going to come by. It was late enough where most people were in their rooms or have gone home, but Merlin didn't argue. He nipped at Arthur and then started dragging him down the halls. Both men had to keep their hands o a minimum when they passed a small number of servants in the halls. Merlin almost laughed when they came face-to-face with Gwaine.

"Oi, Merlin, I got a bone to pick with you." Gwaine looked upset and stormed toward Merlin but when he caught sight of Arthur's hand locked in his, he seemed to become drained of any lingering anger from the paralysis spell.

"Did you two finally talk?" He asked as if he knew the answer...and what they were on their way to do. Merlin blushed while Arthur hooked his arm around Merlin's shoulders.

"Yeah, we did. Now if you'll excuse us, I have a passed due appointment to fuck my husband silly. Tell Morgana congratulations and we will meet the little devil in the morning." Arthur didn't have any shame when he was horny or desperate. Right now, he was both. Gwaine laughed at Merlin's red face and waved them goodbye. When the two finally got back to Arthur's chambers, he shoved Merlin against the closed and locked doors.

Merlin was about to open his mouth and say something, but Arthur shoved his tongue so deep into the brunette's throat, he lost all abilities to talk and moaned at the feeling instead. Arthur pulled Merlin into the air as his legs clung to Arthur's waist and they made their way to the large bed. Arthur threw Merlin to the mattress like he weighed nothing as Merlin smiled as he bounced on the silk sheets.

Arthur wasted no time in latching back onto Merlin as his fingers made quick work of Merlin's shirt. Merlin returned the favor and soon, both men were nearly naked on the bed, kissing hotly and desperately grinding their covered cocks together.

Arthur kissed down Merlin's neck to his chest before pulling a pink nipple between his teeth and sucking slightly before blowing cool air onto the pointed peak.

"Hgn," Merlin couldn't help but moan at the sudden hot then cold feeling and ground his hips deeper against Arthur. The friction was magical and Merlin was in pure bliss.

"A-Arthur," Merlin stuttered. He was embarrassingly close but Arthur just smirked against his chest and switched to the other one. Merlin's hands went from Arthur's hair to his trousers. He needed more than just clothed friction. He needed _Arthur._

"Anyone ever tell you," Arthur grunted as Merling ground his hips in a particularly delicious way, "that patience is a virtue?" Merling pulled Arthur's head from his chest and to his face so he could kiss the prat properly. Arthur seemed to understand the urgency within the kiss and moved to pull off both his and Merlin's pants together, throwing them behind him with the rest of their clothes.

Both Arthur and Merlin were now butt-naked and making out in Arthur's bed. Just like old times.

"Arthur, please," Merlin hated how needy he sounded, but he hasn't had any sexual encounters since he and Arthur stopped having sex, so Arthur couldn't really blame him form being desperate.

"I haven't touched you in months, Merlin. I'm going to take my bloody time." His fist wrapped slowly around Merlin's swollen cock and pumped once, twice, three times before letting go. Merlin moaned and whined at the feeling of being touched and then being released. He was so closed. He'd probably come with just a single finger up his arse.

"We can take our bloody time with each other after we take the edge off. Arthur, I'm so fucking close." Merlin got crabby when he was desperate and refused release, but Arthur ignored him and continued his three pumps and release that got Merlin dangerously close to the edge before pulling him back.

"Do you think you will come with just one finger?" Arthur asked, pulling some oil from a table by the bed. Merlin whimpered as Arthur's thigh brushed his hot body. He dumped some oil onto his hand and moved Merlin so he could also pour some oil onto his puckered hole. Arthur slowly pushed one finger inside up to his knuckles and basked in the long, deep moan Merlin let out. He pumped his finger a few times before adding another one. By the second pump of the second finger, Merlin slammed his eyes shut and let out a deep grunt as his cock twitched and white cum shot out of his dick. I coated his chest and the covers and Arthur wasted no time in taking advantage of the sensitive organ.

When Merlin was all prepped and ready for Arthur, his hand shot up to grab Arthur's wrist and stopped him from oiling his own dick.

"Wait, Arthur," Merlin sounded out of breath and winded but also raw and sexy. "We need to be even," Merlin didn't give Arthur time to ask what he meant before Merlin grabbed Arthur's cock and shoved it deep into his mouth to the point where most of it was encased in Merlin's hot mouth. Arthur couldn't have stopped the deep groan that left his lips, even if he knew what Merlin was planning.

"Ugh, Merlin," Arthur's head fell back as he seemed to just soak up the pleasure Merlin gave him as his head bobbed over Arthur's cock. In nearly no time at all, Arthur was grunting his release with one hand in Merlin's hair. Merlin kept his mouth on Arthur's dick as he shot his seed deep into Merlin's throat.

The two of them have had plenty of sex before, but Arthur had to admit that was the hottest sight he ever saw.

Merlin pulled his mouth from Arthur's cock and watched as it flopped back. He moved up and gave Arthur a lingering peck on the lips. "Now we are even," he said, smiling brightly. Arthur choked on a laugh and watched as Merlin fisted his placid cock and gave a few hearty pulls until it reached semi-hard.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered in his ear as Arthur's hot breath puffed into his lover's shoulder.

"Yes, love?"

"_Fuck me._"

Arthur's eyes seemed to darken when Merlin said that. He gripped Merlin by the waist and flipped him over so Merlin was flat on his back. The two of them loved doggy-style too, but right now they needed intimacy and love. He oiling his cock generously before lining it up with Merlin's hole. He slowly pressed in and nearly came again at the lost familiarity of being buried deep inside Merlin. Merlin's face was screwed up in pleasure and Arthur was sure he was the same. After two slow thrusts, both him and Merlin worked together to quicken the pace and soon, all that could be heard in the room was heavy breathing and fast-paced slaps of flesh.

"Arthur, I-"

"Me too."

"I love you, Arthur. I'm sorry I ever," Merlin moaned, "made you feel like I didn't. I," another moan, "fucking love you." White-hot pleasure shot through Merlin as Arthur angled his hips and hit just the right spot at just the right time.

"I love you too, Merlin." Arthur let out a low grunt as Merlin felt his insides being filled with burning hot cum. It made Merlin smile. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. Both men rode out their orgasm before collapsing in a tangled mess together onto the bed. sweat and cum kind of everywhere.

"I'm serious, Arthur," Merlin said once their breathing evened out and they clung to each other for dear life. "If I ever had a feeling of what I did..." Arthur pulled him closer.

"Idiot, I'm to blame too. We were both idiots and we are both to blame. All we can do at this point is to move on and make things right." Merlin kissed Arthur's chest and snuggled into the blonde's side.

"I love you, you clot-pole."

"And I love you, _Mer_lin."

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**Review**

**XO**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

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**Chapter Seven - Final**

If Merlin could wake up like this every morning, he would. Light filtered into the room from the windows as he and Arthur lay on their bed, tangled in one another. A servant had dropped off a small breakfast tray some time ago but both men were asleep so neither noticed. Merlin shuffled in the bed to be able to better see Arthur's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful and young when he slept soundly. Merlin smiled as he started peppering Arthur with light kisses all across his chest, neck, and face. After a moment of non-stop pecks, Arthur began to stir.

"Mmh," his eyes fluttered open to find Merlinstraddling him and kissing his face slowly. In his muddled, sleepy mind, Arthur pulled Merlin's face to his so they could kiss properly.

They kissed lazily for what felt like forever, or at least, Merlin wished it could go on forever. A quiet knock on the door interrupted their make-out session.

"Go away, we're busy," Arthur shouted and flipped him and Merlin over so Arthur hovered over the magic man. Their kiss grew more intense but the knocking didn't seem to go away.

"We said go," Merlin took a breath so that he wouldn't let out a moan in the middle of his sentence, "away." the word was barely heard but the way Arthur sucked Merlin's neck, he didn't care.

"Both of you idiots needs to get up. We're all happy and dandy you made up, but I have a child now and he should have a right to meet his uncles before his first birthday." Morgana's voice wafted through the room. Arthur pulled away and kissed Merlin soundly before rising off of him. He pulled Merlin with him and soon they were both standing naked in their room.

"I guess we should go meet the spawn of Satan," Arthur commented with a smirk. Merlin swatted his arm playfully at the nickname and the two got dressed in comfortable silence.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked as Merin pulled the last of his clothing on. "Now that the air is clear and we got through the whole," he pointed to the bed, "making up of things...will you move back in with me? This room is just as much yours as it is mine and I don't think I can go back to a cold bed. Especially after last night." Merlin walked over to him and kissed him deeply on the lips.

"Of course I'll come back, prat. As long as you'll have me. I still got a long way to go in making up-"

"Merlin, we talked about this, you have nothing to-"

"I know," Merlin said. "But for nearly a year I put the blame solely on you for everything. It will ease _my_ mind to make it up to you. Just milk it while you can and enjoy," Merlin kissed Arthur's neck, "the special," his nose, "treatment." Merlin pulled Arthur into another heated liplock. It would have gone farther, too, but Merlin pulled away too soon for Arthur's taste and walked to the door.

"As lovely of a morning as this, it's about time to meet our nephew, don't you think?" Arthur nodded and followed behind.

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Arthur and Merlin made their way out of their room and into the common room reserved for greeting guests when they arrive at the castle. It had seating and wide-open space that usually was empty, but when Arthur and Merlin walked in, a blanket occupied a small portion and baby toys lingered around. Morgana, Leon, Gwaine, and Guias sat around on the blanket while Morgana held a small baby in her arms.

"Well look who finally decided to join us," Morgana said. Her words were condescending but she wore a smile that was brighter than Arthur had ever seen.

"The devil and her spawn as I live and breathe." Arthur joked and walked over to the small group. He knelt down in front of the child and laughed as it simply laid there and drooled.

"I think it's broken," Arthur joked. "I was a much more interesting baby."

"Idiot," Morgana said, adjusting Philip to rest better in her arms, "he is one day old...not even. Give him a break." Merlin came to sit down too.

"He's beautiful, Morgana," Merlin smiled. Morgana smiled back.

"We named him Philip." She said. She looked at Merlin and smiled, "do you want to hold him?" Merlin looked flustered but ultimately agreed. Morgana carefully placed the sleeping baby in Merlin's arms. Merlin seemed to panic at first but quickly got the hang of it and cradled the baby gently.

"What a tiny bugger," Merlin said, getting choked up for no reason. Morgana smiled and leaned over to Arthur.

"So a little birdy told me you two are good." She said. Arthur didn't take his eyes off of the sight of Merlin caring for a child. It was a damn good sight.

"Yeah. We were both idiots." He said. Morgana smiled.

"I know," both watched as Merlin continued to cradle the small baby. Arthur smiled at the sight. _'Yeah,'_ he thought, '_idiots, indeed.'_

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**Well, that's the end of that. Let me know what you think!**

**XO**


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